I guess this could be my anniversary post, seeing as how it has literally been a year since I last posted on here. I did kind of forget about having a blog, but I have to admit that I also kept procrastinating going in here and writing because I did not have the energy to do it.
A lot has happened since I last updated, and I mean a lot. I no longer live in the outskirts of London, since I moved back to Sweden about a month ago. I (of course) quit my job at Costa, figured the commute from Sweden to England would not be worth it, haha. I did, however, get a new job here in Sweden, and I got it quite quickly after coming home. My first day was only a week after we had arrived back, and I was still unpacking when I started working. Since this job was only part-time, I decided to get a second job to get more hours (and hence, more money), which I got working as a substitute in schools and daycares.
It was nice to see my friends, although I haven't been able to see everyone yet. I guess that's the con of having friends spread out across the country, you can't see them whenever you want. I know I should probably get some new friends (or at least that's what my parents are telling me I need to do), but I feel uncomfortable talking to strangers unless I'm drunk. And drunk me is still kind of awkward, haha.
As soon as I came home I downloaded Badoo (a dating app, for those of you who don't know). I know there are a lot of people on there who are just looking for someone to talk to, and I thought it would be a good idea to find some new people to talk to, mostly just to pass time. Little did I know, that I would find the most amazing person on there. We haven't actually met in person yet since he lives quite a bit away from me. But we are planning to as soon as our schedules allow to. We've decided to meet in the middle, and just hang out for a day. I don't want to call it love because we haven't met in person, but I really do like this guy and I hope that he's going to like me too after we've met up.
If you have read some of my previous posts, you might've also gotten the feeling that I am not very well. I don't know exactly what's wrong with me, but I do know that I feel sad and tired and stressed most of the time, and there are mornings when I find it hard to get out of bed. It has been like that for a few years now, but I have finally decided to seek help and to try to get better. I have contacted a place that specializes in the physical and mental health of young people, and yesterday I had my first appointment with the psychiatrist. It was hard for me to talk about my feelings like that, especially opening up to a stranger, but I really do hope that this was the right decision. We booked an appointment for next week as well, so I'm hoping that it will get easier with time.
Today I have taken a day off my usual routine since I am going away on a trip with work tonight. We are going to Poland (I work at the terminal where people can take the ferry to Gdynia) to get a feel of the things that our customers can do and therefore be able to recommend places for them to go. As usual, I haven't started packing yet, but we'll only be gone for two days so I should be able to do that pretty quickly.
I will try to update here more regularly, as I think it could really help me to be able to write down the things that are going through my mind. I can't promise that it will be interesting reading, but that's up to the webiverse to decide.
Be kind and love yourself. See you next post.