Day in and day out, I have to defend myself and other girls out there when I hear boys complain about how confusing girls’ behaviours are. “We don’t know what we want, and we lead boys on, and blah blah blah.” But let me just put this out there: HAVE YOU TAKEN A HARD FUCKING LOOK AT YOURSELVES?!
I have never intentionally lead someone on that I didn’t believe I would end up with. Yes, sometimes it has taken me some time to realise that the person that I’m with is not someone I want to be with, but I always try to make my feelings clear to everyone else. If I don’t like someone, as in REALLY DON’T LIKE, then they will know that. I will know that. Everyone will know and the world will be at peace. Well, almost.
There are of course girls who lead boys on too, don’t get me wrong. There are boys who make girls believe that they have something when they don’t, and there are girls who do that to boys, and there are boys who do that to boys and there are girls who do that to girls. It’s not a specific gender that alone leads others on. But I am sick and tired of always hearing that girls are the ones that are confusing and all that, when there are actually so many boys who are the exact same.
Recently, I have realised that I have developed feelings for a boy in my class. Did I plan it? Of course not. He’s sexist, and he’s rude, and he is definitely not the type of guy I usually fall for. But there is something about him, and I can’t quite put my finger on what it is, but I do know that whatever it is, it’s making me like the way that he smiles, and the way that he makes me laugh even when I don’t want to, and how soft his hands are that one time we accidentally touched… Okay, I’m getting of topic here.
He asked me a few weeks ago whether I like him or not. I think it has something to do with the fact that my friends have been shipping us for some time now, and they keep bugging him about taking me out on a date. I took my time to answer because I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to know how I felt, but decided that I didn’t really have anything to lose and told him that I like him. He ignored the subject until yesterday, when he finally started asking me more about why I like him. He’s been sending ver y mixed signals, doing things that makes me believe that he does like me, but at the same time he hasn’t said that he liked me.
I feel like the ball is pretty much on his side of the court right now, because he specifically told me that he doesn’t like when a girl asks a guy out and I have already told him that I like him. There is nothing that I can do now, but it’s pissing me off that he is not doing anything. If he would at least tell me that he has no feelings for me and never will have, I will be able to get over it. I won’t cry over rom-coms while eating a whole tub of ice cream just because he might think that it would break my heart (who am I kidding? I will DEFINITELY eat that tub of ice cream anyways because I love ice cream).
Anyways, this has been a very long rant post, but I just felt the need to get this off my chest and I didn’t know who else to talk to. Thank you for reading about my super uninteresting life.
TL;DR: Boys are stupid. Girls are stupid. Everyone is stupid. Feelings are stupid too.