The other day I did something that I have never really done before - I went on a date.
It was super nice, I met this guy on a dating app and we talked for almost 2 months before we finally decided to meet up. Since we don't live very close, we met up in a town that was about halfway between our towns. It became a bit of a tourist day for both of us, since neither of us had ever been in the city. 

I was super freakin' nervous as I sat on the train and kept imagining all the bad things that could happen. It didn't help that he got lost and texted that he was going to be late because it took some time to get back on the road (he was driving). I thought for sure that he was standing me up and I was already racking my brain for people I know that lived close by that I could call in case of emergency. 
He did show up, which was more than I was hoping for (I really am pathetic) and since it was lunchtime, and we both seemed to have a love for food, we decided that our number one priority was to get lunch. Nothing seemed to be open, but after walking around the center for a while we managed to find a small restaurant that served a Thai buffet. Nothing can go wrong at a Thai buffet!
After eating we literally just walked around with no direction and managed to see so much of the city, and the beautiful colors of autumn and the sea and some historical buildings. It really was an amazing day. He was perfect, and I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming all of this. He even said he wanted to meet me again, which is a definite thumbs up!
 Be kind and love yourself. See you next post.
The trip that we took to Poland was absolutely amazing. I thought it was just going to be a low-key trip with a few colleagues, but work really went all in for this. Not only did they pay for the entire trip (including fancy cabins on the boat, and one cabin each so we didn't have to share), they also hired a guide who had studied Swedish and worked for a company that often had trips for our customers, and they also paid for everything we did in Poland. Lunch, coffee, beer tasting, you name it. It was an absolutely amazing day, which we ended at the shopping mall Riviera in Gdynia and where I was able to get my Costa Coffee (it had been waaay too long, since we don't have Costa here in Sweden). I also bought three caramel shortbreads (my favorite cakes) with me back to Sweden, hehe. 
When we came back I just worked pretty much the entire weekend, one shift on Friday, one on Saturday and then a double shift on Sunday. Not the most exciting weekend, but that's what a girl's gotta do if she wants money haha. It was a bit busy, what with it being the weekend and all but I managed to survive. Barely.
Today I had the day off from work, which was super nice. I went to see my "therapist" this morning, and then I just came back home and relaxed all day. She says I need to learn how to do that, relax. It's not easy for someone who's mind is constantly working at full speed, but I guess it's for the best. She also wants me to write down three good things that I do until next time, because apparently I also put too much pressure on myself and never enough credit. Let's see how that goes... 
Be kind and love yourself. See you next post.
I guess this could be my anniversary post, seeing as how it has literally been a year since I last posted on here. I did kind of forget about having a blog, but I have to admit that I also kept procrastinating going in here and writing because I did not have the energy to do it.
A lot has happened since I last updated, and I mean a lot. I no longer live in the outskirts of London, since I moved back to Sweden about a month ago. I (of course) quit my job at Costa, figured the commute from Sweden to England would not be worth it, haha. I did, however, get a new job here in Sweden, and I got it quite quickly after coming home. My first day was only a week after we had arrived back, and I was still unpacking when I started working. Since this job was only part-time, I decided to get a second job to get more hours (and hence, more money), which I got working as a substitute in schools and daycares.
It was nice to see my friends, although I haven't been able to see everyone yet. I guess that's the con of having friends spread out across the country, you can't see them whenever you want. I know I should probably get some new friends (or at least that's what my parents are telling me I need to do), but I feel uncomfortable talking to strangers unless I'm drunk. And drunk me is still kind of awkward, haha. 
As soon as I came home I downloaded Badoo (a dating app, for those of you who don't know). I know there are a lot of people on there who are just looking for someone to talk to, and I thought it would be a good idea to find some new people to talk to, mostly just to pass time. Little did I know, that I would find the most amazing person on there. We haven't actually met in person yet since he lives quite a bit away from me. But we are planning to as soon as our schedules allow to. We've decided to meet in the middle, and just hang out for a day. I don't want to call it love because we haven't met in person, but I really do like this guy and I hope that he's going to like me too after we've met up. 
If you have read some of my previous posts, you might've also gotten the feeling that I am not very well. I don't know exactly what's wrong with me, but I do know that I feel sad and tired and stressed most of the time, and there are mornings when I find it hard to get out of bed. It has been like that for a few years now, but I have finally decided to seek help and to try to get better. I have contacted a place that specializes in the physical and mental health of young people, and yesterday I had my first appointment with the psychiatrist. It was hard for me to talk about my feelings like that, especially opening up to a stranger, but I really do hope that this was the right decision. We booked an appointment for next week as well, so I'm hoping that it will get easier with time.
Today I have taken a day off my usual routine since I am going away on a trip with work tonight. We are going to Poland (I work at the terminal where people can take the ferry to Gdynia) to get a feel of the things that our customers can do and therefore be able to recommend places for them to go. As usual, I haven't started packing yet, but we'll only be gone for two days so I should be able to do that pretty quickly. 
I will try to update here more regularly, as I think it could really help me to be able to write down the things that are going through my mind. I can't promise that it will be interesting reading, but that's up to the webiverse to decide.
Be kind and love yourself. See you next post.